How to Deal with Guilt as a Mother

Being a mother along with all of the other responsibilities you have can be overwhelming and exhausting. You want to be the best mother to your children, but at the same time, you also need to hold down a career and take care of the house.

When you handle other business or you are just so tired you can hardly stand it, you may start to feel guilty.

My Story of Guilty Mother Syndrome

When I was a first time mother, I thought that everything came second to my daughter. I spent every waking moment with her, caring for her and playing with her. Everything else just fell to the wayside.

While the time I spent with her was special, I later found that I started to lose my identity. My house was a mess and had no time to myself. It depressed me. So, I started to implement those things into my life again. Of course, that led me to another problem, my feelings of guilt.

I couldn’t spend as much time with my daughter as I had before. Even though I felt much more balanced, my daughter would want me to be with her all the time. I couldn’t.

I had a life to live and I knew that I couldn’t go back. So, I knew I had to deal with the guilt.

How to Deal with the Guilt

Change Your Beliefs

I found that the guilt was mostly from my own beliefs about what children needed not what they truly needed. Children don’t need to have a parent with them all the time to entertain them. They need to learn to entertain themselves. Understanding this and reminding myself this made me feel a bit better about my guilt about having her play by herself sometimes.

For parents, who have children in daycare, you can change your beliefs about others caring for your children. Having someone else care for your children shows them that they can reach out for support to others and get it. This is a valuable lesson for life.

Understand Quality Comes Over Quantity

It’s important not to lose the importance of spending quality time with your children. I found that being able to release from her made the time we did spend together much more meaningful.

Remain Aware of Your Guilt

Usually, guilt comes from seeing something that doesn’t coincide with beliefs. When you change your beliefs to one that is less centered on your children, you will start to see your guilt will wean, however, there will be times when you will still feel guilty. This is your sign that you need to set up quality time with your children.

What Dealing with the Guilt Will Do for Your Children

It will be a great relief for you to see that you need to spend time with your children and then do it. You’ll feel as though you’re a good mother for giving your children time to themselves to develop independence and creativity, showing them that you have to work and have time to yourself through what you do while they are playing, and finally, show them that you are still available to them to give them the care and love they need.

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